This year has, not surprisingly, drifted far from my original plans and expectations. I have had to revise my writing schedule multiple times, in addition to taking an undeclared blog hiatus.
So, in the interim: I wrote half a novel that is meant to finish my trilogy, before deciding not to finish it until my first two books have gone through the revision process. This month I began my next project, which will eventually be submitted to SwoonReads, but I’ve already decided to shelve it as well…
…which brings me to this month’s Insecure Writers’ Support Group post.
In general, my biggest problem as a writer, now that I’ve grown more comfortable with writing novels, is my difficulty sustaining my focus. I learned last month that I was diagnosed with ADHD combined type, and lately that has manifested in spending my time on Tumblr instead of blogs.
However, right now my problem is much more specific, and has flared up a few times since I began my noveling journey in 2014. My problem is poverty. People still don’t talk about money issues publicly very often, I think because it makes everyone uncomfortable. But this is absolutely what is weighing most heavily on my mind as a writer, so it’s my subject this month.
My household has struggled for years. We both have mental and physical health issues that make sustaining employment difficult and sometimes impossible, but we don’t qualify for financial help where we live because we’re not parents. We go through long periods of just getting by, and we’re very good at stretching our finances as far as we can–before we entered this more stable period, we were homeless multiple times, so our ability to be financially secure means more to us than anything else.
Unfortunately, we’ve hit a rough patch again, the kind that means we have a narrow window to generate a miracle or lose our home, so we have the next 27 days to do everything we can to generate any income, and hope to work things out.
My point in rambling on about this is to explain why my writing plans keep having to change: we’ve reached the point realistically where I need to spend all of my time for the next three weeks trying to earn money through my online job and plasma donation. I can’t make enough that way to save us, but I might be able to help a little.
So I’m pushing back my editing and writing goals, again. And the reason why I relate this all to IWSG is that even though it’s only March 4th, and something good could happen in time to save us, I can’t write and hope that it will. I don’t know how to write when it gets this bad. I can’t focus on my stories or even nurture the hope that writing requires.
Therefore, my post today is for the glorious void that is the Internet. Have you ever felt this way, or is it just very rare to have writing ability but no steady employment? Do you find a way to keep on going when you’re scared and hungry? Am I the only one that’s found financial adversity to be an enormous writing roadblock?